For decades, we’ve known that strong collaboration leads to better business outcomes—more innovation, better decisions and greater fulfillment. The same is true for families. When families take intentional steps to work together across generations, they unlock new possibilities: a deeper sense of unity, more resilient planning and a legacy that lasts.
At Matter Family Office, we’ve seen firsthand that families who invest in building the skills, practices and tools needed for cross-generational engagement consistently make better decisions. But that doesn’t mean it’s easy. Even the most enthusiastic families can feel overwhelmed by the complexity and time required. Still, the families that make the leap rarely look back.
The Power of Three Generations at the Table
Most multi-family office clients span three generations. Each generation brings its own perspective, strengths and challenges:
- The first generation offers history, experience and generosity. They’re often the decision-makers and wealth creators but can be intimidating or set in their ways.
- The second generation bridges past and present. They’re engaged with the world as it is now but often unsure how to influence family decisions.
- The third generation brings fresh thinking and energy. They may lack technical knowledge but offer creativity and optimism about what’s possible.
When these three groups work together intentionally, families move from hierarchy to collaboration. The process doesn’t erase generational differences—it turns them into an asset.
Why Collaboration Often Fails (and How to Get It Right)
Even families who want to collaborate often fall into old communication patterns. The relationships between parents and children as well as mentors and learners are deeply ingrained. Without a clear structure, many family members feel unheard or unsure of their place.
True collaboration doesn’t happen by chance. It requires family leaders to make a conscious choice to listen, teach, invite and learn. That means creating a structure where each generation has a voice, and where trust can grow over time.
Research shows that top-down succession planning—where a single generation handles all major decisions—fails more often than not. Only 30% of family wealth transfers successfully to the second generation. For the third? Just 10%.
A multi-family office model can help families shift from “top-down” to “all-in.” With the right support, the journey becomes less daunting and far more rewarding.
Where to Begin
The process starts with vision. The first generation plays a critical role by articulating their hopes for the future. Then comes the invitation: a genuine request for participation from younger generations, grounded in openness and mutual respect.
It’s important to set expectations early. Building a cohesive, collaborative family takes time—years or even decades. But small wins build momentum. And yes, it should be fun. This isn’t a test. It’s not about control. It’s about learning to paddle the same canoe together.
The Family Collaboration Framework
At Matter, we use a proven approach to help families build this capability. It’s structured, but flexible enough to reflect each family’s values, personalities and goals:
Step One: Plan
- Identify who should be involved
- Set expectations and communication norms
- Surface any obstacles early
- Create a shared vision & purpose
Step Two: Prepare
- Build financial knowledge and life skills
- Offer training on communication, listening and decision-making
- Align on shared objectives
- Equip each member to contribute confidently
Step Three: Practice
- Hold regular family meetings (often facilitated)
- Start making collaborative decisions
- Track progress and celebrate growth
- Stay committed to transparent, inclusive processes
This framework ensures every voice is heard. It creates space for learning and accountability. And over time, it transforms family decision-making into a shared endeavor, something future generations can build upon.
The Role of the Multi-Family Office
A multi-family office doesn’t just manage investments. At its best, it fosters healthy dynamics and meaningful outcomes beyond the balance sheet. The families who benefit most from a multi-family office aren’t just looking for financial services, they’re looking for a long-term home. A partner who understands that communication, education and culture are just as important as financial performance.
With the right support, families can move beyond financial preservation into true multigenerational prosperity. They create a legacy that’s not just about wealth, but wisdom. Not just about assets, but alignment.
Because in the end, no one generation holds all the answers. But together, families can shape a future that honors where they’ve been and opens possibilities for what’s next.
About the Authors
Kathy Lintz
In 1990, with just two employees, Kathy Lintz founded the firm that would become Matter Family Office. Her steadfast vision and commitment to the integration of independent investments, deep planning and coordination, family wellbeing, governance, and philanthropy has evolved Matter into a thought-leading multifamily office. Kathy is tremendously grateful to all the talented, dedicated associates at Matter who have shared this vision and helped her realize it over the past three decades.
Kathy works with Matter’s client teams daily and loves building lasting relationships with the complex, multigenerational families we serve. She is also one of four managing members who lead the firm and is responsible for the Matter investment committee and active in evolving our industry-leading family culture and legacy services. As founder, Kathy takes a leadership role in aligning Matter’s values, capabilities, and future efforts with the firm’s core purpose of helping families realize their most important goals in an intentional, integrated, and authentic way.
Courtney Pullen
Courtney Pullen has been helping businesses, organizations, and ultra-high-net-worth families thrive for nearly 30 years. The Chief Learning Officer at Matter Family Office, and a longtime advisor to the firm, Courtney guides families through Matter’s integrated, holistic, and personalized wealth management approach with a particular focus on family culture and learning, an industry-leading practice he helped to develop and continues to evolve.
Courtney is also a certified coach of the Newfield Network, a faculty member at the University of Chicago Booth School of Business, and a member of the Sudden Money Institute. He has spoken at financial conferences nationwide and has written articles and books on family wealth management, including Intentional Wealth: How Families Build Legacies of Stewardship and Financial Health.
Thierry J.D. Brunel
Thierry joined Matter in 2013, bringing years of experience in family office and wealth management. He previously worked in investment research and portfolio management roles at Convergent Wealth Advisors and GenSpring Family Office. At Matter, Thierry leads the investment committee, advising families on portfolio strategy and governance. A Wake Forest University graduate, Thierry has a diverse international background. He’s active in his community, serving as an assistant coach for the John Burroughs School Varsity football team in St. Louis.
Luke Jernagan
Luke joined Matter in 2022 after 15 years as a parish priest in the Episcopal Church. He was drawn to our firm for many of the same reasons he is drawn to ministry – his love of helping people celebrate the joys of life – and has deep experience guiding families as they navigate complexities, transitions and opportunities.
As our Director of Family Learning, Luke works with Matter families to strengthen their relationships, communicate effectively, and identify what matters most to them so they can thrive as individuals and together. He also leads the Culture & Learning committee, continuing to design thoughtful content and practices that clients and their teams utilize to continuously learn and evolve.
About Matter Family Office
Founded in 1990, Matter Family Office is an independent multi-family office that empowers ultra-high-net-worth families to achieve long-term success. Through an integrated, personalized approach to wealth management, Matter serves as a strategic partner, guiding 131 families in 34 states to navigate wealth complexities, make informed decisions and build enduring legacies. Learn more at Matter Family Office. Advisory services offered by Matter LLC, dba Matter Family Office, a registered investment adviser.